Hogwarts Was Our Home
by Silancio
Summary: They were able to win the war. Voldemort has been defeated but the price they had to pay for it was very high. Hermione is back at Hogwarts to finish her education but the castle doesn't seem to be her home anymore. Not when she's here without her best-friends.


The history of this place has changed, probably in the most brutal way. It wasn't the same castle anymore... even though it was. The halls weren't the same... even though they were. The classrooms weren't the same... even though they were. People weren't the same... oh yes. People weren't the same anymore and most likely they never will be.

Hogwarts, their home, has changed. They all have changed. The war had changed them.

They weren't the same anymore. They weren't carefree children nor were they adults. In fact some of them still didn't know who they had become. So who were they then?

The broken souls.

The war took a lot. It took away their innocence, their childhood, their peace and in many cases even their families. It was impossible to tell how many young witches and wizards were placed in orphanages or in different families only because they lost their parents and siblings to the war.

Because Death doesn't ask you what you like or if it's fair. Thanatos collects what belongs to him when he thinks it's time and doesn't care about anything else. He doesn't care about people's begging, he takes and takes and takes. He doesn't care if you're young or old, if you have a family or if you're single. The final decision always belongs to him.

Was it fair? Of course it wasn't but nothing could change what happened. Even if there was a Time-Turner.

Because nothing, nothing, not even time will save you from Death.

If there was a way to talk with dead people who didn't return as ghosts, Sirius Black would gladly confirm this theory to you. When he was saved in 1994 by his godson, Harry Potter, and his best-friend, Hermione Granger, from the Dementor's kiss (due to using Hermione's Time-Turner she had in that year) he thought that he won a second life. However, Thanatos remembers. He never forgets that there was a soul which should join him. So two years later Death reclaimed his victim and took Sirius with him. Forever. Or what about Tom Riddle? The dark wizard, also known as Lord Voldemort, created seven Horcruxes thinking that they would ensure him immortality. Did he succeed? Of course not. Because Thanatos takes and takes and takes.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, will save you from dying.

A brown-haired girl dressed in Gryffindor robes was sitting on a bench near the Great Lake located to the south of Hogwarts Castle and was staring into the surface. She had a silver Head Girl badge with a letter "P" pinned to her chest and was clearly lost in thought. Being the Head Girl was one of her biggest dreams since she found out that she was a witch when she turned eleven. She was, after all, the best student in the school, many people called her the brightest witch of her age. She should be happy that her dream came true. She should, however, she wasn't.

When she dreamed about becoming the Head Girl she saw herself as along with her two best-friends, Harry and Ron, she marches through the castle corridors, eats in the Great Hall, laughs a lot with Potter hearing the red-haired boy's jokes...

But then the war came and changed everything. Ruined everything. Turned people's lives into a living hell.

They had to grow up. They were – still are – only teenagers but they had to become adults. They had to start fighting in order to protect what they loved. She and her best-friends had to run. Harry was the biggest enemy of Lord Voldemort and the only person who could defeat him. Ron and her came with him because they were in this together. If one was in danger, the others would help him no matter what. They were in this until the end. Also, she had to run anyway as her blood status was less than desired in Voldemort's point of view.

Mudblood.

She wasn't worth more than mud to Riddle and his pure-blood followers.

They won the war. The good triumphed over evil, but the price they had to pay was enormous. The world, not only Wizarding, lost so many talented and innocent people who didn't deserve to die. But, of course, Death doesn't care about it, it just takes and takes and takes what belongs to him.

The girl closed her eyes.

Too much blood has been spilled. Far too much. There were moments when the streets were covered in blood. Public executions of those who, according to the new Ministry of Magic, weren't worthy of having magic. All muggle-borns who were caught were executed. Edward Tonks, father of her friend Nymphadora, was murdered in front of Gringotts by her former Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Dolores Umbridge. His crime? Being a wizard who had two muggle parents. Or what about children? At least sixteen eleven-years-old muggle-born kids who should start Hogwarts were killed just like Ted and their parents were forced to see it before they shared their children's fate. Because they had magic while their parents didn't. And parents were guilty of having children who stole magic from wizards.

A single tear ran down her cheek. When she started Hogwarts she never thought that things would change like this. The castle was her second home, her sanctuary, the place where she felt safe. It was considered to be the safest place in the world and yet it failed its role. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. Life was so unfair. Why were people so cruel to each other? Did they have to kill one another only because someone had a different blood status?

When she started Hogwarts she wished to become the Head Girl. She saw herself as along with her two best-friends, Harry and Ron, she marches through the castle corridors, eats in the Great Hall, laughs a lot with Potter hearing the red-haired boy's jokes... but it will never happen. She could be the Head Girl but her best-friends wouldn't celebrate it with her. Because they were gone. Because the war stole them away from her.

Harry Potter was dead. And so was Ronald Weasley. Her two best-friends. Her brothers. Her lovers. The last members of her family.

Ron died first. He was captured by Death Eaters when he and Potter tried to save her. Her brave, brave friend. He was tortured – in public – but he never told where Harry and she were hiding. Dolores Umbridge – who was responsible for punishments and death sentences – not only ordered to use the Cruciatus Curse on him but also commanded to flog him. Harry and she were there, of course. They knew it was risky but they had to save their friend, their brother, their companion.

They did it. They broke into the Ministry's prison where Ron - barely conscious – was waiting for his death. He was supposed to die the next day but they were able to save him... not for long.

They took him with them, tried to heal him. They thought that they succeeded but... they didn't. The youngest Weasley boy died three days later, in her arms, in terrible agony. It was the day when her heart broke.

Ronald was supposed to die at the hands of the Death Eaters. Death cannot be cheated. He takes and takes and takes what belongs to him.

So they stayed alone. Harry had only her and she had only Harry (she had used Memory Charm on her parents before she left with her boys to defeat Riddle and now they were lost for her). Public executions frightened people so much that they didn't dare to fight back. Some of them even betrayed their friends so they could survive. The Order of the Phoenix was almost gone. When Ron was caught, the Ministry went after his family. They murdered his family members in front of him because he refused to tell them where Harry was. Foolish, some would say. To save your friend's life instead of your parents and siblings'. But Ronald knew. He knew, just like the rest of the Weasley family, that Harry must survive if they wanted to defeat Voldemort. They were ready to die, as long as Harry survived.

Her brave, brave friend. A true Gryffindor and hero. Just like the rest of his family. The Weasleys will always be in her heart. Until the end of time.

Somehow Harry and she succeeded to find all Horcruxes. But they learnt something horrible on the way. In order to defeat Riddle, Harry had to die. He had to die because he was one of his Horcruxes. The one Voldemort created unconsciously and about which he had no clue.

The final battle began. It all happened here, at Hogwarts. In their home. All students who were over the age (except for the Slytherin house) and teachers decided to fight. The remains of the Order of Phoenix also joined them in the battle. But the boy knew he must die. When Neville killed Nagini, Voldemort's pet snake and the last Horcrux (except for Harry), Potter knew it was time. He offered himself to Riddle.

His death was brutal. So brutal, horrible and devoid of humanity. Voldemort called for people to see his death. He killed her best-friend in front of probably every witch and wizard in the Great Britain.

Riddle tortured Harry for hours. He could just kill him to spare the pain but he didn't. He tortured her best-friend by using the Cruciatus Curse, he let Greyback have some fun with him (and that wasn't pretty at all) and did many other cruel things. She wasn't even able to think about them. They were so horrible and just thinking about the ways he tortured Harry made her sick. Ron's torture and death compared to that were just a child's play.

But then finally, hours later, Riddle decided to show how... _merciful_ he was and used the Killing Curse on Harry. She felt as if her heart was broken. The last member of her family... her friend, her lover, her companion... was gone. Her world has ended with Harry Potter's death.

The boy was supposed to die as a child and Death cannot be cheated. Thanatos takes and takes and takes what belongs to him.

When the Killing Curse took Harry's life, she knew that it was her chance to finish everything once and for all. It was all planned (although she tried to find a way to save her friend. She didn't, just like she wasn't able to save Ron. It was her biggest failure. She couldn't save her friends). When Voldemort was too distracted to celebrate, she ended his pathetic life. Death Eaters were too shocked that she, a mudblood friend of Harry Potter, killed their master, that they didn't attack her. The living members of the Order of the Phoenix used this moment and arrested them.

The girl jumped when suddenly she heard a noise and grabbed her wand. She sighed when she realised it was just a Thestral and not a Death Eater.

"I liked it more when I couldn't see you, you know?" she muttered when the creature looked at her.

It was completely fleshless, its back coat clinging to its skeleton, of which every bone was visible. Its head was dragonish, and its pupil-less eyes white and staring. Wings sprouted from each wither — vast, black leathery wings that looked as though they ought to belong to giant bats.

The Thestrals were fantastic creatures... although one could see them only when they saw as someone died. She missed very much the time when during her fifth year she couldn't see them when they were learning about them.

She sighed and one more time looked into the lake.

She missed her friends and parents so much... she wished they could be here with her now but it was impossible. Death took them from this world and won't return them anymore. Not even being the Master of Death was enough. She tried. She became the owner of the wand when she killed Voldemort. The Cloak and the Stone was given to her by Harry before the battle of Hogwarts had started.

"I hope you're happy with your family now, Harry. You deserve to be happy at least after death," she said stroking the animal which lay beside her. "Harry... Ron... I miss you and love you. Please, take care of each other. And please, be happy wherever you are now. Both of you."

"I'm sure they are."

She grabbed her wand again and almost cursed the boy who spoke to her.

A tall, thin brown-haired wizard dressed in Slytherin robes stood in front of her, having his hands raised. He knew better than to provoke her.

"Nott," the Head Girl said and lowered her weapon. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed a place to think," he started quietly, avoiding an eye contact. "And then I saw a Thestral so I decided to visit it. And then I heard your voice."

Hermione said nothing just nodded and sat down on the ground. Theodore was one of three people on their year who could see the creatures when Professor Grubbly-Plank presented them.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

She shrugged. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to be with her. He was a Slytherin after all. His father was a Death Eater who was responsible for capturing Ted Tonks. _But he's not his father_ , she heard a quiet voice at the back of her head. _Besides, he fought alongside with you during the battle._

The voice was right. Theodore Nott had left the castle – along with other members of the Slytherin house – before the battle, but returned and fought on their side. He even killed his own father when the man tried to kill her.

They sat in silence, looking into the lake, being clearly lost in thoughts. The animal lay between them and they were stroking it at the same time.

"I'm sorry for what happened," the boy, the young man, finally said. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "For Potter's and Weasley's death. For making fun of you in the previous years. Maybe if I didn't, the war would have never happened."

"You're not responsible for this, Nott," she said quietly. "You didn't start the war."

"Not directly, no," he answered with a small nod. "But if I didn't listen to my father then the Dark Lord could have one follower less. Maybe I didn't kill any muggle-born child, but I gave a silent approval."

Before she had a chance to say anything, the young Slytherin man got up from his place and gave her a letter which he took out from his pocket.

"Draco is sorry, too, you know?" he added and left before she could answer.

The Head Girl frowned and looked at the letter addressed to her. The Malfoy family also joined them during the final battle – Lucius Malfoy even saved Neville what helped him to kill Nagini – but she wasn't expecting something like that. What did Nott mean?

Hermione sighed and decided to read the letter. It was from the youngest Malfoy.

 _Miss Granger,_

 _Writing this letter comes to me with great difficulty. You know, probably more than anyone else, that showing emotions has never been my strongest feature, as well as admitting to my mistakes. However, as you probably know, there is always a moment in which you have to swallow your pride. Right now it is my time._

 _Miss Granger, I write this letter to you because I do not have the courage to say this to you in person. I am a coward, a ferret. But there is something you need to know and I beg you – please, do not set this letter on fire before you are done with reading._

 _I am sorry._

 _Miss Granger, words cannot describe how sorry I am. The words are not able to show the pain I feel. But I will try to do so anyway. For you, because I have a feeling that I own you at least this._

 _Miss Granger, you know more than well that I hated you since the moment we met. You did nothing wrong to me and yet, I hated you. Not only you were a muggle-born, the best student in our year (in fact in the whole school), but also you and the youngest of Weasley brothers were the best-friends of Harry Potter. I was so jealous... I could not understand how it was possible that you, a muggle-born witch, could be better at magic than me, a pure-blood wizard._

 _Miss Granger, I turned your life into a living hell. I said a lot of harmful words to you (as well as cursing you a few times) which now I deeply regret. I know it is probably far too late for an apology. I am aware of that. But please, you have to understand how sorry I really am. I do not try to make any excuses. I am the one to blame and I will take this blame to grave._

 _Miss Granger, the war has changed me. Seeing innocent people die, just because their blood was not pure made me sick. I cannot understand how foolish I was to believe that the Dark Lord was right. Every single time I close my eyes I see those bloody faces... I cannot get rid of them. I feel as if I murdered them._

 _Miss Granger, I promise you that I will not use the same name I used to call you towards anyone else. No one should be called that. I hope that you believe me, although, of course, you have any rights not to._

 _Miss Granger, I have heard that you are a godmother of my cousin's son. I know that I do not deserve to even ask about meeting him. Not after everything I did. Can you at least tell me his name? If not, then please, tell him that I am sorry that his father is dead and his mother, and my cousin, is in magic coma. I hope she will recover soon. I am really sorry, Miss Granger, I really am. I still can't believe why I was such an idiot._

 _Miss Granger, if I ever have children, I do promise you that I will not raise them the same way I was raised. You proved enough that muggle-born children are not worse than the pure-bloods. We all are the same. I also promise that I will tell them stories about a very brave Gryffindor heroine named Hermione Granger who killed the Dark Lord. And about her two courageous friends, of course, who died so the world could be a peaceful place once more._

 _Miss Granger, I am sorry that your friend (boyfriend?) Ron died because of my aunt. I am sorry that she captured him when he and Harry tried to save you when you were saving the little girl._

 _Miss Granger, you must wonder why I keep addressing you that way while I called your friends by their given names. The answer is easy. I do not deserve to call you by your name. Your name is too good to be uttered by such worthless scum as I._

 _Miss Granger, one more thing. I know I do not deserve this, but I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me. I know that I will not be able to forgive myself. Every single time I look into mirror, I feel disgust. I am such a bastard. A Death Eater who should have died instead of those innocent people._

 _Yours sincerely,  
A very sorry  
Draco Malfoy_

Hermione started at the letter, not really knowing what to feel. Draco Malfoy did write her a letter in which he apologised. APOLOGISED. Draco _freaking_ Malfoy. When she was younger, she wanted to hear that he was sorry for what he did to her and her friends. But right now... after everything what had happened... she wasn't sure if she ever would be able to forgive him. _But at least it's a start_ , said a voice in her head.

"Saying "I am sorry" won't bring Harry, Ron and other people back," she muttered bitterly and patted the animal one more time before she got up from the ground and headed towards the caste.

* * *

Hermione marched through the empty corridors of the castle. It was her patrol night as the Head Girl tonight. So far everything was good and she was about to turn into another corridor when she heard a noise. She stopped. It didn't take her long to track down the location of the sound because the noise – which sounded like a whimper – was the only sound out there.

She slowly walked towards the door of an abandoned classroom and opened it quietly as if she didn't want to inform a person who was inside about her presence.

The Head Girl frowned when she realised who was there. And it was not a one person but two. One of them was Pansy Parkinson, a Slytherin girl from her year who often mocked her and was making fun of her during their previous years at Hogwarts. Her late boys, Harry and Ron, used to say that she reminded them of a pug-dog because of her facial expression but she didn't think that. In fact the girl wasn't as ugly as her friends wanted her to be. In fact she was quite pretty.

With her in the room was no one other but Draco Malfoy. A tall, quite handsome blond-haired Slytherin boy. He was making calming circles on her back, whispering something into her ear.

"What are you doing here?" she finally asked.

The other girl jumped when she heard her voice and then turned to face her. She wanted to look cool, however, the Head Girl could see her red eyes. It was obvious that Pansy was crying. Draco, on the other hand, pointed his wand at her but lowered it as soon as he saw who entered the room.

"None of your business, Granger."

Hermione crossed her arms and looked at her interlocutor with a raised eyebrow, ignoring Malfoy. It was clear that she didn't like the answer.

"Actually, Parkinson, you would be surprised. I'm the Head Girl and you're out of your common room during curfew. So as you can see, it's _my_ business."

Pansy didn't answer just shrugged and looked away. She wasn't in mood for having this conversation with her. The Granger girl. The other Slytherin, however, was looking at his friend, concerned. Hermione didn't miss it but decided not to say anything about it. _Yet._

The young Gryffindor watched her classmate carefully. She could tell that Parkinson has changed, obviously. After all they all had changed. The war had changed them. However, it was unusual for Pansy to be quiet. She always had something to say – mostly something awful.

"You don't want to talk – fine. Better for me. But now come. Both of you."

"What do you mean, Granger?" Hermione almost smirked, seeing as the girl tried to hide her surprised expression. The boy only frowned, not knowing what to expect. Was she going to inform Headmistress McGonagall?

"I'm going to escort you to Slytherin common room, of course," she said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "What did you think? That I'll take you to the storeroom and will shag you there? Sorry, Parkinson, but you're not my type. Besides, I'm not in the mood for a threesome."

"As if I wanted to shag someone like you," the girl hissed. "Not only a Gryffindor with dirty blood but..."

She never finished her sentence and Hermione could only guess what she wanted to say.

"Yes, whatever, but now come. I don't have all night."

"I'm not taking orders from you, Granger," said Pansy and crossed her arms just like the Head Girl did some time ago. Malfoy carefully looked at his former enemy.

The brightest witch of her age just shrugged.

"Fine. Then stay here and I'll inform Mr. Filch or Headmistress McGonagall about it. Have a nice night, Parkinson, Malfoy."

And with those words she turned on her heel and left the room. She smirked when a moment later she heard footsteps; the Slytherins joined her. She knew they would because everyone remembered their parents were the Death Eaters even if they switched sides during the war. They weren't popular anymore.

They walked in silence. Neither of them were in the mood to talk and after all they weren't friends. In fact it was possible to say that they hated each other with a burning passion. Or at least the girls.

Some time later they found themselves in the dungeon. They didn't meet anyone on their way – Hermione was grateful for that because when she was younger it was possible to see students out of bed all the time. Especially her and her friends.

"Here we are," said Hermione as they stopped near the entrance to Slytherin common room. Parkinson looked at her with suspicion and the boy frowned again.

"Do I even want to know why the know-it-all Granger, the perfect Gryffindor princess of all people knows where Slytherin common room is?"

Hermione smirked. Maybe she wasn't inside because she turned herself into a human cat when she drank a Polyjuice Potion during her second year at school, but her boys had told her exactly where the Snakes common room was. Not that she would share this knowledge with the girl, of course.

"No, you don't want to know," she started. "Have a nice night, Parkinson, Malfoy. Oh, I would forget – Slytherin lost ten points because of you."

"I really hate you, Granger," the girl muttered, said password and entered the common room.

The Head Girl smirked once more, shaking her head. The war hurt her so badly that the words like these didn't hurt her anymore. She watched as her classmate walked through the hole in the wall, frowning when she realised that Pansy was limping slightly. Was she limping during today's classes? She couldn't remember but most likely not. They had Charms classes with Professor Flitwick today and the girl seemed to be all right. Well, the truth was that she was back in school for only two days as she started the last year later (due to her depression) so what happened? She had no idea but she would find out and nothing will stop her.

"Well... night, Miss Granger," the boy said a few moments later and turned on his heel to follow his friend. But before he had a chance, he heard her quiet voice.

"Teddy," she said as if to herself. The young Slytherin stopped in mid-step and looked at her. "His name is Teddy."

And with those words Hermione left the dungeon and didn't see a ghost of a smile which appeared on Malfoy's lips.

As soon as she found herself in her dormitory she leaned against the door, and tears started running down her cheeks. She pretended to be strong but escorting the Slytherins to their common room broke her again. She wanted to be dead just like her boys.

"Hogwarts was supposed to be our home!" she said through tears and hit the door. Hard. "And what is home without a family! How you dared to leave me alone! I will never forgive you this!" she screamed and fell to the floor. "Hogwarts doesn't feel like home anymore!"

* * *

 _Thoughts?_


End file.
